Wednesday, August 3, 2011


This morning I had the privilege of listening to another Saddleback staff wife Cathy Constantz share with our Wednesday morning Treasured group on Friendships. I was defiantly something that has been weighing heavy on my heart lately. I have been praying & seeking wisdom in this area for a few months now. This was definitely a message that needed to hear.

I thought I would share some of the nuggets I took away...

We all need Role Models
This should be Jesus (John 15:15 & Philippians 3:17)
This could also be a pastor or seasoned friend
*So who are my spiritual models? Who makes me want to know God better?

We all need Mentor(s)
This should be someone who provides you spiritual counsel
This person should hold you accountable & ask the tough questions
*Who asks me questions like: What are you learning these days? How can I be praying for you? How is your walk with God going? How is your marriage? etc.

We all need TRUE friends
True friend makes time for you
True friends are vulnerable with you
True friends give you emotional support
True friends give you verbal support
True friends give you spiritual support

In all of this I have to be asking myself who do I provide this to? Am I a friend like this to the people I'm expecting this from? Do the people that I say are my true friends reciprocate the investment?

I feel like this is such a weird stage in life because my friends are married with kids & have busy lives. Is it realistic for me to expect time & energy from them? I have been feeling lacking in this area because the awesome true friends that I had live further away from me now. Does that mean that I need to start over & build friendships that live closer to me? I get kind of discouraged when I think about starting over because those other friends know everything about me, that is just a lot of time to unpack the past 28 years to someone. Part of me wants to just keep those long distance friendships & save the time.

I know that it is important to invest in those around you because that is who you are currently sharing life with, but it is hard. I definitely see a few friends that offer me a glimmer of hope that true friendships are possible at this stage & that is exciting. I just need to muster up the courage & energy to pour into them like I'm hoping to be poured into as well. I am so grateful that Christ created us to be in community together because life would be lonely without others. Now mastering His design for true community is my desire!

**This is all my interpretation :) Just some questions & thought I have been processing thru lately. Thank you Cathy for your insight & thought provoking wisdom!


  1. my heart and yours are one, my friend! let's talk soon...xoxo

  2. I needed this. Thank you for sharing and I hope that I can be one of those true friends for youa s well as be that for someone else too.

  3. I love this. And I am so thankful to call you a friend. you are incredible!