**Warning! This is the real me...please don't judge** :)
Ok so the last few months have been a huge transition for me & our family. I fell like I have truly been going through this identity crisis. I have had a full time job since I was 16 & now I am a stay at home mommy (SAHM)! I had always dreamt of being able to stay home & all the fun I would have. When the time came things were not how I imagined.
I was so used to a scheduled 9-5 job with an inbox & outbox. I would leave work feelingaccomplished & see the progress I had made that day. Well as a SAHM this is totally different...I would end my day wondering WHAT DID I DO TODAY!?! I would feel like all I had done during the day is clean the house (AGAIN), laundry (MORE), feed Hallee & change diapers, etc. Well for me this just was not working. I would often feel like a failure when Hubby would come home & dinner was not on the table & the house was not spotless.
I know that I am truly making a bigger impact on my daughter then I realize but this was hard. There were many nights the first weeks where Mike would say "Maybe you should go back to work...you are going crazy!" Poor guy! I just had this guilt where I felt like there are many moms that would give anything to stay home & here I am blessed to be able to do so & I don't like it...what is wrong with me!
Fast forward 2 months & I am definitely still in transition but I am doing SO much better. I have come to realize that I don't have to be perfect Suzy Homemaker I just have to be a happy mom & wife. If that means that I don't clean today so that I can hang out with a friend, great! If we eat leftover one night so that Hallee & I can spend the day outside, awesome! I am lucky to have a fantastic husband who would rather me be refreshed at the end of the day then have slaved around the house. I am not saying that I have it all figured out & am still working on it but I'm getting there! I would love any words of wisdom & covet your prayers as I become the best SAHM for my family.
Here is a great article my sweet husband send me that really helped me not feel alone.
Don't worry, Kris...you are totally not alone! There are days when I don't even want to get out of pjs! We'll learn a balance...
ReplyDeleteI will pray for you friend but just think of the HUGE positive impact you will have on your little one by being able to mold and teach her everyday yourself.
ReplyDeleteFamily is more important than work, and being a "SAHM" is a job! Don't forget that! I love you friend and am glad it's been getting better for you. Miss you!
I appreciate your honesty. We don't even have kids yet, and this is something I worry about. I find a lot of my identity in my job, and I know that I don't want to keep working the crazy hours I work when I have a kid, so then what? I would maybe like to be a stay at home mom, but I worry about the same things you are worrying about, even though I have never been there. I will pray for you and your family. I am sure you are a wonderful mom. :) Just wanted to leave a comment to say thanks for being honest and sharing.
ReplyDeleteI think you are awesome!! (just in case you didn't already know!)
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