My Son or Daughter

Yesterday one of my friends passed away. His name is Ken May and he was killed in Afghanistan by an IED. It seems surreal to me. I cried on the phone when his wife called me. He was a man that wasn't afraid of death, a Christian, a man that was straight forward and a man that I really loved to be around. One of my last conversations with him I asked if he was afraid at all to deploy and he said "why would I be? Worst case scenario is I go to heaven. I would love to stay here but if heaven is the worst that could happen to me there then why be afraid." I hope that is the perspective that you have. I also hope you are never in the military (I'll love you if you are) but I hope you're perspective on life is the same.

If there is anything I have learned it is that life is really short. You might never meet me, you might only know your mom and I for a few years. The stuff I want isn't important, the things you own are not important, how you show love to Christ and to the people you love is. I will be doing his funeral which scares me and excites me, but Ken would have wanted a party.

I love you. I wish you were here so that I could hold you and show you how much I love you. I got to see you yesterday at our ultrasound and it was so exciting. We have the picture somewhere in the house telling me if you are a boy or girl and mom won't let me peek! She is the most disciplined person I know. We are waiting until our gender reveal next Saturday when our family & friends can all be here.

I am praying for you and love you.

Dad

Week 19

Sweet Tomato!

I have to say that your daddy & I do not like tomatoes but this week we do! I'm not really sure what a large heirloom tomato is compared to a regular tomato but it must be big. You are 8 1/2 ounces and measure 6 inches from head to bottom, WOW!

This week has been bitter sweet for us. Romans 8:28 has been the cry of my heart this week, "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." The sadness we are experiencing has nothing to do with you but the loss of a dear friend of our. You will see more of that in your daddy's letter to you.

On a fun note your Auntie Emily turned 16 this week, I still can't believe it! You & I went out to her school and surprised her and took her out to lunch & to get a pedicure. She was so excited to see us, well mostly you! The first thing she did was rub my belly, cute! She says that if you are a girl you are going to be a little dancer like her, we will see. She really loves you and promises that she is going to visit you a lot.

This week your daddy surprised me with a wonderful Mother's Day gift! We got to go to a local ultrasound place and see you!! It was such a wonderful time seeing your sweet face. This time was a little different then the other ultrasounds we have had because it was 4D so we got to see more of your features. We did not get to view all of the video because we are having our surprise gender reveal next Saturday so we have to wait to see if you are a little boy or girl. Let me tell you it is taking EVERYTHING for us not to peek. I actually had to hid the envelope & video from your daddy, even though I know he really would not peek with out me. We are going to enjoy the entire video next Saturday with our family& friends that come to find out your gender :) I CAN'T WAIT!!

Your daddy also got to feel you move more this week. You seem to be most active while I'm at work and then after dinner when I'm laying in bed. If I lay flat you roll around in my belly, it is the funniest thing. I have really enjoyed feeling you move more, I thought at first I would kind of think it was weird, but I LOVE IT!!

Keep growing sweetie, love you SOOO much!!

Your Mom

My Baby!

Last night your mom felt you move with her hand for the first time! I am dying to feel you move and am super jealous. I pray for you all the time. We are moving for the third time in a year and a half so that we can get a bigger place for all of us. I hope you get to experience it. I mean I know that you'll live there but I hope you get the joy of experiencing living at the beach. Your mom and I didn't grow up here and I pray you get to. I am so excited to get to take you surfing and to build sand castles with you and to hopefully let you get to know me. I love you!

Dad

Week 18

My little Bell Pepper!

This week week you 5 1/2 inches long from head to bottom. You weigh 7 ounces, you are growing so fast! I received a package from my sweet grandmother, your great-grandma, with some maternity clothes for work. I am so excited to wear them & show off my belly now that it is showing.

We celebrated Mother's Day with our parents this weekend. It was such a fun time to see everyone & celebrate the amazing mothers they are to your dad & I. I pray that you will look at me like a best friend like I do my parents. We have learned so much about parenting from our parents, we have been blessed!

We also decided this week that we are moving. Don't worry we are still going to live by the beach, even a little closer! We are moving to a place I know you are going to love! It has so much more space for you grow up in. It is in the cutes little community with little parks for you to play in, take the dogs for a walk & learn to ride your bike at. I keep thinking about how cute your room is going to look, I can't wait to start working on it!

My friend Jorden who just had her little boy last week sent me this text this week. "Its amazing how fast it goes, it feel like I just share the pregnancy news & now he's here in my arms!! Cherish the journey my friend." I think this was an amazing reminder for me. I find myself wishing it was October & you were here with me but I need to enjoy today as well. So that has been my focus this week to enjoy all the changes in you & me during this 40 week journey. Thank you Jor for that reminder, love you friend!

Stay healty in there little one! Start getting ready for our next ultrasound in 2 weeks, I need you to cooperate so we can find out if you are a little boy or girl! I can't wait for the big reveal!!

Love you more then you can know!

Your Mommy

My turnip

We go back to the doctor tomorrow morning! So excited to hear your heart beat again. I think about you all the time. Every trait in me I hate I think and pray you avoid it. Even right now I fight tears thinking through how I have no idea how to raise you and give you only the good traits (the few) that I have. I pray for you all the time. I think about you constantly and I worry about you all the time. I don't know when you will get this or read any of this, maybe one day when we have a huge fight and you look like you need to know I love you, maybe I'll be dead (which I want you to know isn't the end of the world, I just get to to go home) but I want you to know that from the moment younger conceived we wanted and loved you. We dreamed about you, prayed for you, and worried about you. I love you.

Your dad

Week 17

My Turnip weighing babe!

I cannot believe how big you are getting. This week you weigh 5 ounces, as much as a turnip. You are already 5 inches long from crown to rump, that is not even including your little legs!! I have started to feel you moving around in my belly more and more each day. Your dad is so excited for the day he gets to feel you move. I think he’s a little jealous I get to feel you fluttering around in there. We visited the doctor this week for our normal visit and we got to hear you sweet heartbeat again. I have to say it is my MOST favorite sound in the world!! You are growing perfect in there and we get to see you again in 4 weeks. :)

Our great friends Gregg & Jorden had their little baby boy Asher Luke this week. He was born on April 27^th weighing 8 lbs 5 oz & 19 ¾ inches long. He is the sweetest little boy and already full of so much joy. Jorden is doing well and their little happy family is now home resting and adjusting to their new addition. It is so fun to hear Jor talk about the birth and seeing her baby for the first time and dreaming about that day for me. I wish that I could have been in Minnesota to share that special day with Gregg & Jorden. Gregg has been such a proud little papa sending me pictures of his little boy in all his Dodger attire. GO BLUE!! I can’t wait to meet little Asher when we go to visit in a few months!

Your daddy & I took a fun little bike ride this weekend and had a picnic at the beach. We were able to just sit there and talk about how exciting it’s going to be to share those moments with you. Your dad can’t wait to teach you how surf & ride a bike. I enjoy seeing the light in his eye when he sees another dad with their child, I know he is thinking of you, it's precious. We love you so much baby!!

Love,

Your Mother

Week 16

My sweet Avocado!

We LOVE avocados so much! I like to just eat them plain they are so yummy! I can’t believe how big you are getting it feels like just yesterday you were a poppy seed. This week had been pretty eventful. Work had been crazy and there are days I just wish I was already on maternity leave. :)

This week our wonderful friends Ryan & Alissa found out they are going to have a sweet little BOY!! Alissa is one of my best friends and we have been blessed to share this fun pregnancy together. She is due September 7^th only 4 weeks before me. I cherish my friendship with them and look forward to this new addition to their family. We have been dreaming about the two of you growing up together and being great friends someday. Or maybe getting married, I can tell you that you would have awesome in-laws. :)

We also attended your Aunt Sarah’s baby shower for your cousin that is due in a few weeks. It was nice to see your grandma Brook and all your daddy’s Aunts. I can tell you that they can’t wait to meet you. Im excited for you to have these two sweet boys to play with. Your Aunt was telling me that Jason is already over 8 pounds and she is not due for 4 weeks. Please don’t get that big! Speaking of big I am really starting to show and people are noticing so that has been fun.

Keep growing in there sweetie, I can’t wait to hear your heartbeat at our doctors appointment in a few days. Love you so very much!

Love,

Mommy